Is anyone out there? I feel lonely, I feel like I want to be somewhere other than here. I have my family and I am grateful for the things I have . I am  not alone. I feel sad but not sorry for myself. The seasonal depression is hitting me hard. I am not a fan of standard time . Even If I am staying in for the evening , I hate to look out the window and see sun setting around 4:30, and pitch dark by 6. Sometimes I feel old, very old. I mean I am old but I feel Tired and in pain .I also feel worn out both physically and mentally. It's a bad feeling when you feel useless. 

I don't feel lonely too often, but I do not have to be by myself to feel lonely. I go back to being the invisible person I was back in school, 50 years ago. I did not mind being an invisible student in high school . In fact I think I liked it. I never fit in with the cliques . I did have a couple of friends. i feel comfortable by myself, just some days I long for a cup of tea and a bit of conversation.

Sometimes i want someone to vent to. I want to get off social media and not talk about politics.I want have a friend with whom I do not have to answer "fine" when they say " Hi, how are you?"When I ask that  question ,I will listen .I want to know if you are o.k. I want to know if I can can help if you need me to. 

I think today its just seasonal depression getting to me. I have a cold and I am tired. 

If any one sees this  let me know you were here. Hope you have a happy New Year!! well,💩.

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