Happy New Year? My word for the year 2023-try.

 Well, Happy New Year. What ever the fuck that means. I am having a bad day already and it's just started. I'm tired of being the one that looks the other way , the one seeing some good in people that isn't really there. 

I am a fool to care about anyone who does not care about me.I do not like being quiet about how I feel anymore. I started thinking about making a resolution this year. I usually think of something and forget it pretty quickly. This year I thought I really wanted to be kinder. But it may be too hard. when there are so many entitled ,hate filled people. I want to pass on kindness, but sometimes it seems impossible to show kindness to ignorant , mean people. I want to show my granddaughter a grandma worth remembering. 

I mean what's the point of having lived if the world would have been better without you. I want her to see me act kind to people who don't seem on the surface at least  to deserve kindness. I want her to know we do not know what others are going through . Recently there have been a number of suicides in the news . That is why I'm thinking about trying to be kinder. I do not feel like I am the one that can pull someone in from the ledge but I do not want to be the ONE that's the last straw , the one that finally topples them over.                                                                                                                                                                                         I will try to be kinder. I am not saying i will not swear at drivers that i think are IDIOTS! I will actually TRY to be kind to those I do not even know. I'll hold a door. I help pick up dropped groceries. I'll tip the server that forgot something. I will give out compliments , especially to people who look like they could use one. I like to think I am a kind person but recent events have tried my patience. I will try. It's the best that this old lady can do. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Damn insurance, tomorrow I rally.( I may be screwed!)

I don't know who else is going through cancer treatment, or is just beginning worried about what their treatment will be. How awful will it be. I can not tell you what you will go through . but I will say you are going to need a team of doctors. Let me see I have 5 ,for my breast cancer. They are all affiliated with the hospital closest to my home , and I tell you that was so convenient when I had to travel back and forth especially for my 34 daily radiation treatments.  It was already tiresome, I could not imagine having to drive to a further treatment center! Tomorrow I am going to that same hospital , and though the bulk of my treatment is over, I still see all the doctors affiliated with it. I am not however going for treatment. I am going for a rally, which sounds like a fun word , but it is really more of a protest. You see these 5 doctors work together to get me the best care, the best individual treatment program they could plan for me. Let me say one thing first, I have ...
Read more
Summer . 2021. Almost over the pandemic? Birthday party time!! Day after tomorrow is my sweet granddaughter's 7th birthday. Everyone thinks they have the best grandkid. I honestly do not know how we got the beautiful, smart , funny as hell one that we got. I don't know how we warp speeded through the last seven years , but I sure as hell don't know how she is going to be SEVEN.  She and I have been through our own health battles .I remember how fragile she was when she was born. But she is a fighter . She is strong , you would not know now that she had a tough beginning.  She is bright , she made it through this school year  , and almost half of last year , doing school remotely. She was able to do well with her school work during this pandemic . She has computer skills much better than mine. Her over all school work was great . What impressed me was how quickly she could improve her reading skills . She seemed to have a bit of trouble in the beginning of the school ...
Read more

Radiation for Breast cancer after reconstruction. ROCK Hard Breast.

When you are diagnosed with breast cancer a lot of thoughts go through your head. My first thought was I want to fight this disease. I want more time to spend with my granddaughter. I was concerned she would not remember me, which made me feel so sad. My daughters never really had their grandparents. When My surgeons suggested there  was an easy way and a harder way to do reconstruction , I went all in saying , "EASY WAY". Had I known then what I know now , the answer would likely have been different Damn, I should of known better. Things don't usually go the easy way for me , ever. I do not think I knew I was going to have radiation when I spoke with my breast surgeon or the plastic surgeon doing the surgery. I never had many questions, looking back I should have. ALL I kept thinking was I can not get this surgery over soon enough and begin my recovery. I am still optimistic about my cancer not returning, but I wish I knew more about the side effects . I had the sur...
Read more