Alone is a state of mind

 Sometimes we can feel alone even in a large city with thousands of people around. It is a different then feeling alone when you are by yourself at home.It feels more isolated. When I can see dozens of faces some paired off ,some also by themselves , I feel alone. Sometimes I see a smile towards me or even a nod. I think I will never see any of these unknown people again.

Across the dinner table is someone I have known for a long time. Conversation is broken by the checking for text on their phone . I feel alone. I know, poor pitiful me , why don't I make an effort ? Go and find a friend who will engage in conversation,talk about their travels , the books we've both read. I really don't care. 

When I am alone at home , the others are off doing their thing , I feel at home. I can tolerate the quiet. I can enjoy my own company, my thoughts. I am not alone though. I am with my dog. I do not feel alone. I feel calm. I do not feel sad. I do not feel lonely.

So there to me anyway is a real difference between being alone and lonely. While inside I feel like I am outgoing and friendly, inside I just crave alone time. I like people, but not too many of them. I said it before I'd rather be alone  then with people who aren't really there. I mean physically they are with me but they are off with their thoughts. 

Sitting on a beach listening to the waves crash feeling alone, is a wonderful feeling.  Being alone used to feel scary to me. It does not feel that way anymore. I'm ok with being alone.💙