Time Traveler #sad #nostolgic #timetraveler
I haven't really traveled through time like H.G. Wells story, but in my 62 years ,I have seen a lot of changing times. Some not for the better. Growing up mostly in the 6o's and 70's, I can say with out a doubt times have changed, but in some ways it has stayed exactly the same as some people refuse to change. The good things I remember we neighbors,we knew them. Loads of kids playing outside together and walking to school together. Things were simpler then ,for kids anyway.
Ill get into changing times another time, tonight I just want to let go of some of the sadness I feel .
I actually grew up in the same town I live in now. I feel like time was going slower back then,but, I guess its just because I was a kid. I feel like we don't realize how quickly our lives are moving until we have kids of our own.
That is when we start to think things like "Wow, I cant believe, the baby is already getting a tooth." Then it seems so soon you are clapping as they walk the stage at their high school graduation. The time really feels like it flew by.
Now I am getting older and feeling older after my battle with cancer, its been going on for a little over 2 years now ,it almost makes me feel breathless how quick the calendar pages are turning.
Now its time that I'm saying "how did my granddaughter get to be almost 5 already?" How are both my kids, grown and married? It sometimes feels like I time traveled into this weird future time and missed my kids growing up. Its really hard to explain.
Its not that I do not have great memories of my kids childhoods . I do but I hardly remember the day to day stuff. It is all so vague now. I remember the summers mostly. beaches , parks , play dates. I had the luxury of being a stay at home mom with my kids but feel sad I don't remember more. What were their favorite things? What was their first field trip? Back then I thought I'd always remember that stuff.
Now with my granddaughter I want to try to remember how she likes to tell jokes at only 4 years old. How she makes up her own silly punchlines and we laugh. I want to remember her singing songs shes made up,and dances and even little "shows" she put on. I'm sure my girls did the same but I can hardly remember. I do have plenty of photos of my kids that remind me of times we had. I am so grateful for that. with my granddaughter, we have plenty of videos and pictures (in the cloud),it helps make the memories clearer.
None of us know how much time we have , but I will tell you this it is short too damn short. I am feeling melancholic. I am feeling sad. I want to fill my granddaughters day with good memories of me .
Ill get into changing times another time, tonight I just want to let go of some of the sadness I feel .
I actually grew up in the same town I live in now. I feel like time was going slower back then,but, I guess its just because I was a kid. I feel like we don't realize how quickly our lives are moving until we have kids of our own.
That is when we start to think things like "Wow, I cant believe, the baby is already getting a tooth." Then it seems so soon you are clapping as they walk the stage at their high school graduation. The time really feels like it flew by.
Now I am getting older and feeling older after my battle with cancer, its been going on for a little over 2 years now ,it almost makes me feel breathless how quick the calendar pages are turning.
Now its time that I'm saying "how did my granddaughter get to be almost 5 already?" How are both my kids, grown and married? It sometimes feels like I time traveled into this weird future time and missed my kids growing up. Its really hard to explain.
Its not that I do not have great memories of my kids childhoods . I do but I hardly remember the day to day stuff. It is all so vague now. I remember the summers mostly. beaches , parks , play dates. I had the luxury of being a stay at home mom with my kids but feel sad I don't remember more. What were their favorite things? What was their first field trip? Back then I thought I'd always remember that stuff.
Now with my granddaughter I want to try to remember how she likes to tell jokes at only 4 years old. How she makes up her own silly punchlines and we laugh. I want to remember her singing songs shes made up,and dances and even little "shows" she put on. I'm sure my girls did the same but I can hardly remember. I do have plenty of photos of my kids that remind me of times we had. I am so grateful for that. with my granddaughter, we have plenty of videos and pictures (in the cloud),it helps make the memories clearer.
None of us know how much time we have , but I will tell you this it is short too damn short. I am feeling melancholic. I am feeling sad. I want to fill my granddaughters day with good memories of me .
Comments
Post a Comment