Breast Cancer and other life stuff

When you are diagnosed with breast cancer a lot of thoughts go through your head. My first thought was I want to fight this disease. I want more time to spend with my granddaughter. I was concerned she would not remember me, which made me feel so sad. My daughters never really had their grandparents. When My surgeons suggested there  was an easy way and a harder way to do reconstruction , I went all in saying , "EASY WAY". Had I known then what I know now , the answer would likely have been different Damn, I should of known better. Things don't usually go the easy way for me , ever. I do not think I knew I was going to have radiation when I spoke with my breast surgeon or the plastic surgeon doing the surgery. I never had many questions, looking back I should have. ALL I kept thinking was I can not get this surgery over soon enough and begin my recovery. I am still optimistic about my cancer not returning, but I wish I knew more about the side effects . I had the sur...

I am unsure why,but, today I woke up in a foul mood. Usually I can shake it . Today not. I saw my oncologist this week and got some encouraging words. It has been 18 months since I finished radiation (I had chemo before that. ) ,and looks like this summer I will be getting rid of my port used for chemo. Yay , right? The benefit to that is I will graduate from going to the oncologist every 6 months instead of every three. It's kind of funny as I actually thought I was done after chemo. I wasn't sure during chemo that I was even going to have radiation. I guess we did discuss it but sometimes at the doctor I fade out and just don't listen. Not in my best interest.  I am not physically up to some stuff that I was before my cancer treatment began. In fact I am tired and have daily pain. I thought by now I would be feeling back to normal and now I think this may be as far as I'm going to go. I am feeling particularly discouraged today. No reason that I can pinpoint.  I am ...